This blog is (the) ONE!

Humour

Bring out the cakes and a solitary candle! This blog turned ONE a few days back!

In this one year I have written 72 posts (73 including this one). That roughly translates into a post every 5 days. Not bad! So neither have I been slothful to the extent of my keyboard gathering dust and grime, nor over-zealous to the extent of obsessive compulsive blogging!

The 37K page views work out to over 100 views a day. Considering that I always held each of his centuries against Tendulkar, I am eating crow in tom tomming this figure.

Each of the 72 posts has been seen some 520 times (average).

I have received some 322 comments in all. Which works out to 9 comments in 10 days. Or a little over 4 comments per post.

This blog has been cited by WordPress in its Top 100 Blogs of the Day listing on various occasions:

Top posts: January 16, 2007
Top posts: January 14, 2007
Top posts: January 04, 2007
Growing blogs: January 03, 2007
Top posts: January 03, 2007
Growing blogs: November 20, 2006

And then a few weeks back Amit Agarwal — the face of blogging as a profession in India — mentioned in an interview on iLeher that he liked reading Swadeshe! Dang! Why did he do that? That puts pressure of performance on my lazy shoulders!

And then he has gone ahead and mentioned Swadeshe in his compiled list of India’s top humour blogs. Wait and who do I have for company there? Jammy (perhaps the only Indian blogger who has positioned himself as a seriously funny blogger) and Greatbong (who is to blogging, what ShahRukh Khan is to recent Hindi cinema — a very bright bloke, who all other bright blokes want to be friends with! Remember SRK being the muse of Karan Johar, Aditya Chopra et al). Now this places on me the additional burden of not only writing but also writing funny things!

Before I close this post, for reasons that may not need much explaining, I have to acknowledge the contribution of my wife! Who I, in a stroke of inspired genius, co-opted as a stake-holder in my blogging activity when I sat with a sullen face & laptop deliberately kept at an angle so that she could see the screen.

“What happened?”
“I guess I’ll give up blogging.”
“Why?”
“I don’t think I am good enough.”
“Why? What is this (pointing to the WordPress dashboard stats)?”
“See I have only got some 30-odd people reading me in the recent few days. I guess that’s all I deserve.”

At this point she sees that the graph is on a downward slope — which means it did have a peak previously.

“But see, here you had more than a 100 views. It means there was something you were doing then which was helping this figure.”
“Nah! Nothing. These figures are all trash. Just beacuse I was blogging more often, they say there were more visitors.”
“But they right.”
“Hmm (barely able to conceal my glee).”

And since that day, in a manner befitting of an investor querying the business head of a unit — she expresses her disapproval every time the visitor stats graph shows a downward movement!

“I think you need to write more often.”
“But that would take a lot of our time. Remember we have to go shopping for curtains tomorrow?”
“Don’t worry, I will take care of the shopping. You must write a post this weekend.”
“You sure? It’s just a blog. I’ll update it when I am done finalizing our holiday plans.”
“That you can do next week. As it is we are not leaving tomorrow. So what’re you going to write about?”

That’s how I have been managing for the whole of last year :)

And to the folks reading this — Thanks for being such a tolerant and forgiving audience.

Auto-Manipulation

Travel

If you have read GreatBong’s recent post, you would have an entirely different impression of the phrase auto-manipulation! But if you have also read Kiruba’s recent post, that is the kind of auto-manipulation I am referring to here!

Though having stayed in Chennai for around two years, I don’t think the Chennai autos are as bad as they are made out be. See the way it works is like this:

Scene:
Chennai. Saturday morning, 11:00am. You wish to go from Thiruvanmiyur to Spencer Plaza, Anna Salai.  You approach the nearest parked auto(s)…

You: Anna Salai, Spencer Plaza
Auto-driver:  Anna Salai? Spencer Plaza?
You: Yes
Auto-driver: (Nod of head, indicating his willingness to go)
You: How much?
Auto-driver: One twenty Rupees
You: No, that’s too much (Accompanied by a disagreeing nod of the head)
Auto-driver: Ok, how much?
You: I pay sixty Rupees everyday
Auto-driver: (Why-are-you-kidding-with-me kind of a smile and head-nod)
You: (Keeping a straight I-am-in-control kind of face)
Auto-driver: Ok, hundred
You: No, sixty
Auto-driver: (with his eyes he has conceded that you are not a total knock-over) Ok, eighty. (And as if to show he means business, he bends over to pull-start the auto — since the Bajaj autorickshaw models have an oxymoronish hand-kick)
You: Ok, seventy final (and now you bend to get into the auto and convey that you mean business too!)

I templated this kind of exchange, and it worked 9 out of 10 of times.  And each such exchange, would set the benchmark for the price — to be bettered the next time, or at worst, held on to! For example, in the above scene I would have actually paid 75 rupees the day before! Soon you would come to a point where 9 out of 10 auto-drivers would not accept your intended price — now that is the free-market price!

This contrasts with Bangalore (2001) where, at 8:30pm my hosts requested me to finish dinner quickly otherwise we would not get autos to get back home. The auto-driver is told of the destination. Agrees to it, and then says it is already time for the night-charges. We agree. We get in. He starts the auto. And after about 2-3 minutes of driving stops to inquire if we meant point A or point B. And whatever be our preference, he had misunderstood it as point B or A, respectively! And obviously it was going to cost us more. Now that there is already an escalation of commitment, we have no option but to agree!

Obviously this contrasts with Mumbai where (in a majority of places) you get into an auto and just state where you have to go. And if you get into an auto/taxi at 11:30pm for a journey that is likely to take 1 hour — at 12 midnight, the driver makes a note of the meter reading, and then at the end of the journey — charges you regular fare for the first 30 minutes and the night-fare only for the last 30 minutes of your ride. (Yes this has actually happened to me!)

And of course this contrasts totally with Delhi where you get into an auto/taxi at 10:15pm for a journey likely to take 40 minutes. Somehow, you get delayed and the journey ends at 11:05pm. The driver would insist that you pay night-charges on the entire journey! And some people would pay up out of gratitude that he didn’t  rape or loot them!

Delhi auto-drivers actually give you justifications for the way they are. Consider this banner I saw on the back of an autorickshaw sometime back.

What it roughly says is:

Vidhayakon ka vetan bada x%
CNG ki keemat badi y%
Auto ka kiraya bada 0%
——————————-
Dilli mein (auto) kiraya 3.5Rs.
Chennai, Bangalore, Pune mein 6.0Rs.

Imaandaar rahein to kaise?

photo_030207_001.jpg 

Sadly the photo is bad, but you get the picture, right?

Legislators salaries went up by x%.
CNG prices went up by y%.
Auto fares went up by 0%.
——————————-
Auto-fares in Delhi Rs.3.5 (per km)
In Chennai, Bangalore and Pune Rs.6.0

(Even if we want to) How can we remain honest?

Touché!

The ‘Most Powerful Doctor’ in India-III

Uncategorized

To get a context of this post you are advised to read the prequels to this:

The ‘Most Powerful Doctor’ in India-I
The ‘Most Powerful Doctor’ in India-II

Alas! The mighty have fallen a la Ozymandias!


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photo_020207_001.jpg photo_013007_001.jpg

Somehow the details never came out, but the bulldozers did. On a weekend, many weeks ago.

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And I have to confess — despite the pain I endured all these years — I did feel a tinge of sadness seeing this edifice being brought down. Somewhat similar to what some Americans would have felt on the hanging of Saddam Hussain!

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Some construction patchwork and some freshly painted signboards tell me that hope floats!

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Travelling to China (1): Mobile Roaming with Airtel

Travel

Two weeks back I had to travel to Shenzhen in China on a business trip.  While there are several insights, anecdotes and images I will be sharing in the posts and times to come, the first post was the easiest to compose.

As an Airtel mobile subscriber, I had seamless roaming coverage between networks as we travelled from Delhi to Bangkok (airport transit) to Hong Kong to Shenzhen and the same route back. This even included GPRS access, at speeds I felt were better than in India. (Haven’t received my bill yet, so don’t know how would the GPRS access be charged, since in India I have a flat monthly fee / unlimited access subscription to GPRS)

Here are all the SMS messages one received on changing/entering networks:

From: Airtel
Date: 18.3.07 9:37 am
Airtel wishes you a pleasant stay in Hong Kong. You have logged onto China Resources Peoples Telephone Co Ltd

From: 8525059
Date: 18.3.07 9:37 am
Welcome to PEOPLES Hong Kong! Calling home / other countries? Dial <001> <country code and area code> <phone no>.

From: Airtel
Date: 18.3.07 9:39 am
Airtel presents Roam-Saver! Dial *108 # and press the calling button to know how to send a free Call-Back SMS to any mobile while u are roaming Internationally.

From: 8525059
Date: 18.3.07 9:53 am
At PEOPLES, besides voice calls, you can use GPRS Roaming to continue accessing WAP, internet and other data services provided by your operator back home.

From: SMC-Vod
Date: 18.3.07 11:54 am
Welcome to HK! Enjoy SmarTone-Vodafone quality GSM DualBand network-make local call:dial HK Tel No directly; IDD call: dial ?<+?>?<Country code?>?<Area code?>?<Tel No?>

From: SMC-Vod
Date: 18.3.07 11:57 am
Welcome to Hong Kong! Use SmarTone-Vodafone & dial *368 to enjoy dining/shopping tips and roaming assistance.

From: Airtel
Date: 18.3.07 5:53 pm
Airtel wishes you a pleasant stay in China. You have logged onto China Unicom.

From: Airtel
Date: 18.3.07 5:55 pm
Airtel presents Roam-Saver! Dial *108 # and press the calling button to know how to send a free Call-Back SMS to any mobile while u are roaming Internationally

From: +10010
Date: 19.3.07 10:13 am
WELCOME TO CHINA AND USE CHINA UNICOM’s NETWORK,PLEASE DIAL + FOR INTERNATIONAL CALL/SMS.ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY IN CHINA.

From: Airtel
Date: 19.3.07 11:46 am
Airtel wishes you a pleasant stay in China. You have logged onto China Mobile.

From: Airtel
Date: 19.3.07 11:48 am
Airtel presents Roam-Saver! Dial *108 # and press the calling button to know how to send a free Call-Back SMS to any mobile while u are roaming Internationally.

From: HKCSL
Date: 21.3.07 7:02 pm
Welcome to CSL! You can now enjoy FREE WiFi service in Hong Kong till 30April07, compliments of CSL & BRIDGE. Dial *199#SEND for USER NAME & PASSWORD.

From: HKCSL
Date: 21.3.07 7:02 pm
CSL FREE WiFi -To check details & hot spot locations, visit “Local Promotion” of http://conciergego.mobi/go.jsp?c=HKG from your phone or call our hotline *275.

What do you say, aren’t Airtel messages the smartest of the lot above? (If you ignore the fact that you received their messages every time there was a change of network)  The most cryptic seem to be the ones from SMC-Vodafone. And the ALL CAPS message is from China Unicom!

I recall a post I had written earlier Smart SMS from Airtel Mumbai where I had pointed out the difference between the messages that network providers send you when you enter their networks on roaming.

Maus, Persepolis & Inktales

Humour, Media & Entertainment

In the last few months that I was away from here, I read 4 books. Maus by Art Spiegelman, Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi, Maus II by Art Spiegelman, and Persepolis II by Marjane Satrapi. Ok technically that makes it 2 books and their sequels.

All these books were lent to me by a colleague who believed I would enjoy reading these. It would be an understatement to say that I enjoyed reading these! I am a changed person.

Both Maus and Persepolis are set against the backdrop of political upheavels that changed the lives of their protagonists as well as their societies.

In Persepolis the Iranian revolution and the war with Iraq form the backdrop against which Satrapi plays out her autobiographical story.

Art Spiegelman didn’t have an interesting enough backdrop perhaps — growing up in America. So Maus is actually an account of his father’s survival during the Jewish holocaust. And believe me this one is as powerful as Schindler’s List.

I STRONGLY recommend STRONGLY recommend these 4 books to you.

The next book I would recommend to you doesn’t exist yet. Or maybe it does exist, as fragmented jottings, which are waiting for a political, society-altering context! I could introduce the author to you though — Sunandini Basu, (Soo to friends) who blogs snippets from her life at inktales.blogspot.com.

Oh! Did I tell you all these (Maus, Persepolis and Inktales) are comics? No, not comics in the Archies, Mandrake or even Tintin sense of the word. Soo prefers calling them ‘graphic novels’. I don’t like that term ever since Sarnath Bannerjee wrote what his PR claimed was ‘India’s first graphic novel’ — which was graphic in the Soo sense as well graphic in the Shobha De sense too! (Hehe, notice Soo sense rhymes with nuisance? Only rhymes, ok?)

These are comics in the Scott McCloud (who has been called the Aristotle of comics) mould. Each one showcases not only the authors’ story-telling ability, with imaginative narratives; but also the authors’ innocent eye for detail; AND a talent to translate that into simple yet powerful visuals.

I had seen such a talent in Ry who researches maths but used to maintain a wonderful journal of his life at four.livejournal.com. Then one fine day, he decided he had had enough of sharing his life with the world and deleted all his posts. I guess what he missed was a political, society-altering context!

So I hope Soo gets the political, society-altering backdrop for her story soon!

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that she is also the colleague who lent me those 4 books, and this post is not a quid pro quo for that! It’s her birthday today :)