Author: Rahul Razdan

Pardesi in Chennai

Humour, Language

I recall an absolutely trivial incident — in fact it is not even an incident per se, just a snapshot that had lodged in the recesses of my mind only to be stumbled upon yet again by yet another trivial incident that happened recently.

Many years ago, a cousin of mine who had come down from Srinagar, asked my grandmother, if he were a 'khanabadosh'. To which my granny said something, that translated from Kashmiri, would read like this: "God forbid! No way my child".

Though I knew my cousin had said that only because we (my cousin and I) liked the histrionic sound of the word — I thought my granny's response was against the backdrop of the fact that my cousin had come to Delhi escaping militancy in Kashmir, and calling himself a 'khanabadosh' was like pitying himself. And my granny was quick to dispel that.

Living in Chennai for the last one year, I have faced challenges of communication, that in most cases have self-resolved. However, a few days ago I was in the canteen and the guy behind the counter was fixing a sandwich which wasn't exactly as per my specifications. Jammy, pointed this out, to which I said, "This must be for some other pardesi (me being the first)."

Jammy said, "Thank God! There isn't anyone round!"

"Why?"

"Pardesi, is not something people in Chennai would like to be called."

Apparently, 'pardesi' in Tamil means a nomad.

I tried to rationalize that there is a relation between the words nomad and foreigner. A nomad would necessarily be a foreigner, but a foreigner need not necessarily be a nomad. But I was given a counter-rationale that pardesi in Tamil had connotations closer to 'vagabond', and therefore undesirable.

Thinking about this, I was reminded of the song from the film Henna:

Maein hoon ik khanabadosh, Saara jag mera watan.
Pyaar hi meri zubaan, Pyaar hi mera chalan.

This was another way of looking at things. The Urdu 'khanabadosh', the English nomads, the Tamil 'pardesi' revelling in this status of theirs — where they are unfrettered, and the the whole world is their country!

Just a matter of perceptions, I guess.

For example after seeing Paheli (the Amol Palekar film with Shah Rukh Khan and Rani Mukherjee; India's nomination to the Oscars), one could see a ghost in every creature, or an opportunity.

Perceptions, I tell you. Or is it 'perspectives'? Naah, I am too tired to get into that right now!

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Henceforth I shall have to be careful about the kind of Hindi songs I sing in Chennai, lest I upset someone through the lyrics of the songs!

In the mood for a quick check?

"Pardesi, pardesi jaana nahin…" :: Not on
"Tum toh thehre pardesi, saath kya nibhaaoge…" :: On
"Pardesiyon se na ankhiyaan ladaana…" :: Very On
"Ek pardesi mera dil le gaya…" :: Not on
"Pardesiya, yeh sach hai piya, sab kehtein haien…" :: Not on

Please point out other pardesi songs and help me, and help Chennai.

But what do I do about upsetting someone through my singing talent?

This Guy’s Goma make it big!

Humour, Media & Entertainment

Chances are high that by now you have already heard about the mix-up at BBC News 24, where a wrong 'Guy' (pun intended) was interviewed as an expert on a programme to discuss the court ruling in a case between Apple Computers and Apple Music. If not, read the details here.

Fair chance that by now you may also have seen that uproariously funny clip, where the wrong Guy (pun unavoidable) first makes the most hilarious expressions on discovering the goof-up, and then goes on to confidently answer the questions put to him. (Laughter guaranteed!).

Chances are there that some of you would have been quite impressed with his ability to carry on with the show in front of the cameras, so as to suggest a career for him in the media! You are not alone in thinking so. See what a lot of other people are saying about this, here.

And it was only a matter of time, before other media groups picked up on this, and tried to make some funny footage of their own. Channel 4, did its own studio interview with him, where he was asked to answer questions in his capacity as a Venezuelan, a lawyer, and a doctor — all of which he is not! Watch it here.

Then he got invited to Friday Night with Jonathan Ross, where he got a tremendous applause from the studio audience. Watch it here.

His original BBC clip was also made into a remix version!

Wait that's not all, there is already a website on/for him www.guygoma.com!

A Google search on "Guy Goma" throws up some 80,000+ 104,000+ 124,000+ 198,000+ results!

In the next few weeks/months, Guy Goma could try and capitalize on his brush with fame. Columns online and in print — where he answers questions on *any* topic. This is sure to become a big hit, what with people so eagerly looking forward to hearing him talk on issues he has no clue about! Television appearances have already started. If he is lucky, he may end up making a fair amount of money from this. Then he may not at all need the original job he had come to interview for at BBC. The job's done!

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This has shades of the Mahir Cagri madness which happened at the height of the dotcom boom, where an ordinary Turk, Mahir Cagri, found himself becoming a freak celebrity. Read about it here.

Updates:

(May 22) BBC has asked YouTube to remove some of those clips over copyright issues! I guess they finally saw some value in the content to push for copyright cover!

(May 23) In a potentially tragic twist, Goma may face deportation due to possible immigration complexities. Read here.

(May 27) Finally, Wikipedia has a chapter on this, so I can stop my updates, while you can catch the updates here.  

D MK IZ BCK

Politics

Clay figure of Karunanidhi, by yours truly

Coming from a self-styled, self-proclaimed political commentator this is a little late in the day — two weeks after the polls. But here is my two bit post-mortem of the three main reasons for DMK's victory:

1. Colour TV sets: This one captured the people's imagination very effectively. Rice @ 2 Rs. per kilo is now a hygiene factor in most Indian elections — or at least in the areas where rice is the staple food — so no longer a differentiator. Liquor in any case is always an unannounced bounty. So for the sheer incredulity of coming up with a scheme, that was innovatively bizarre and yet reasonably above-board, you have to give it to M Karunanidhi (MK). Any other counter-scheme announced by the others was just a 'me-too' effort. Trust me the only scheme that could have topped this free TV scheme could have been two TV sets free!

2. Yellow shawl: No not for any astrological or super-natural reasons, but for the plain 'visual identity' factor. That's like the red of Coca Cola; the red and blue of Pepsi; the whatever colour of whatever brand you take. And the yellow of Kalaingar! So for every 100 pictures of J.Jayalalitha (JJ), and 100 pictures of Karunanidhi, the yellow visual cue makes a greater number of impressions on the audience cognition than the drabness of JJ's bullet-proof ponchos. In good old advertising jargon — reach and frequency being the same, the yellow shawl makes a bigger impact!

3. Sons and nephews: JJ was fighting a lonely battle. No sons, no nephews, no kith and no kin. For DMK on the other hand, while MK was the most accepted face, Stalin and Dayanidhi Maran were also becoming talking points. Perhaps not too many were convinced that this generation-next of DMK was good enough — but as long as these two were being discussed it was occupying top of mind space. The next best that JJ had was Vaiko — who made people remember and conclusively believe in that old and crude cliché — all fart, no shit!

In summation:
Caste is passé. Religion is passé. Regionalism is passé. Linguistic chauvinism is passé. Long live these peddlers of dreams!

Meanwhile the dynamics at the Centre could change a little, with the DMK now strong in the state as well.

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Watch a recent episode of double-take on NDTV

CAS: Talk the write!

Media & Entertainment

In context of the previous post, I not only wrote about it, I also talked what I wrote! I had raised this question at the FICCI-FRAMES 2004 forum. Here is a snapshot from their archive:

Synopsis of FRAMES 2004 : Addressability – Where do we go from here? (Terrestrial / DTH / CAS / Broadband: Friends, foes, cousins or brothers)

Host:
Ms. Janine Stein, Editor, Television Asia & Media Review
Keynote Address:
Mr. Doug Miller, Mg. Director, Walt Disney Asia Pacific
Panelists:
Mr. Derek Nottingham, Vice President, Systems Engineering & Customer Operations, NDS UK; Mr. Prakash Bajpai, President, Reliance Infocomm; Mr. Shantanu Aditya, President, SET Discovery Pvt Ltd; Mr. A K Shekhar, Country Sales Manager, Motorola Broadband; Mr. Ashok Mansukhani, Executive Vice President, Hinduja TMT

Host:
Everybody wants to talk about conditional access and the companies involved in for a few minutes and then we will move on to questions. I am hoping to make this no longer than an hour and then we may have half an hour for discussion at the end.

<snip> Read the transcript of the session </snip>

Host:
Derek thanks very much. I think we have had some really interesting presentations, lots of differing opinions. I am not going to sum up right now because we have run out of time. I think, it is just better to open the floor to questions. So, if there are any questions. Could you? Gentleman over there. (That's me being referred to…)

Participant:
Hi, I am Rahul Razdan from School of Convergence. I think considering the composition of the panel I think the only set of players who are missing out here are the manufacturers of white goods or television manufacturers…

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CAS: Whose failure is it?

Media & Entertainment

by Rahul Razdan

(Originally written in January 2004; extensively used by me in workshops; while some data may be dated, the issues remain the same; CAS: Conditional Access System)

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At the time of writing this one is not sure if the obituary letter for the much-maligned CAS has already been signed. However what is beyond doubt is the contribution of each and every stakeholder in the Indian television industry value-chain to the creation of this mess, either through commission, or through tacit omission.

Incidentally, these stakeholders include not only the oft-written-about troika of broadcasters, cable operators and the government, but also the advertisers, equipment manufacturers and last but certainly not the least, media commentators.

For a medium that is accessible through cable and satellite to around 40 million homes out of a total 75 million television owning homes, the consumers have remained remarkably passive even as they continue to get a raw deal from every one of these stakeholders. Whoever coined the phrase 'couch potato' perhaps had a profound insight!

And come to think of it, the arguments given in favour of CAS are supposed to benefit everyone including the consumers. But the moot point is – did anyone ever ask for it?

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