Author: Rahul Razdan

Teach an old CAT new tricks: CAT 2006

Education, IIM

If you have come here searching for ways to enhance your performance in the forthcoming CAT 2006 exam — the post ends for you right here! It’s time to get back to more and more practice/mock tests. There’s no better preparation than match-practice!

There are some experiences from CAT 1996 and CAT 1997 that I remember.

CAT 1996:

I prepared from an IMS package for about three months, including two months of intensive efforts. Saw a clear pattern in my performance picking up as I went along, and then the d-day came. The examination centre, mercifully, was a school close by. All aspirants were seated in classrooms based on their serial/admission numbers. There are a few absentees. The OMR answer sheets are distributed first; and then the question papers — which are in 4 sets labelled A, B, C and D. These are supposed to be distributed in a pre-designated manner, with different people getting different sets. If there is any absentee, the invigilator is supposed to leave his/her designated question papers on his/her empty desk and distribute the remaining papers sequentially. However, our invigilator passed on this question paper to the person seated next and broke the sequence. Ouch!

Soon someone realizes that he/she has been handed over a question paper set other than that meant for him/her. The invigilator panics. All of us panic. And then begins a frantic exercise of passing around the question papers till everyone gets the question papers meant for them! By then 15 minutes are over.

In the remaining time, we vacillate between trying to answer as many of the 150 odd questions as possible and asking the invigilator to compensate us for the lost time. Considering that it was her gaffe, she agrees. However…

…as soon as the 120 minutes are over — the IIM representatives at the venue walk-in and we are refused any extra time. We plead, we sulk, we petition (impromptu, hand-written), and then we leave — resigned to our respective fates. Ruing the 15 minutes lost — which equals 20+ questions. This in one of the most competitive of exams in India!

Predictably, no call from any of the IIMs.

CAT 1997:

Prepared for only two weeks, from my previous year’s IMS package. The preparation consisted of getting into the mock-test routine at the earliest. Having been through the rigmarole a year earlier, certainly made it a little easier while preparing. The actual exam though, is a blur in my memory!

Unpredictably, got a call from IIM Indore!

Morals of the story:

1. IMS package is a good help
2. There is no better practice than match-practice
3. CAT is just a freakin’ two-hour performance, you need to peak for it
4. The best-laid plans of mice and men
Gang aft agley (=often go wrong).
And leave us naught but grief and pain
For promised joy — Robert Burns

The ‘Most Powerful Doctor’ in India-II

Uncategorized

This in continuation of my query here.

The most powerful doctor in India is… Dr. Vashisht!

Everyday, (especially weekdays) he impacts the lives of easily a couple of lakh people in Delhi. And such is his impact, that the authorities have had to bend rules to accommodate the extent of his impact. While the immediate impact can be for periods ranging from 10 minutes to an hour or more, its effects last for quite a while.

However, till about a few years ago, his impact was much more pronounced and would touch the lives of a far greater number of people and for much longer periods of time. In fact, it was rivalled only by the impact of the Deity in the temple across the road.

So who is Dr. Vashisht?

Do your Google searches to find out. While I too shall be coming out with my reasons, next week.

Ok, I took much more than a week to come back on this one. And that had nothing to do with the subject of this post.

So here goes (you can click on thumbnail images of these Google Earth screen-grabs for more detailed pictures)…

This is about the glorious land called India…
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…and its northern plains…
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…and its historic capital city Delhi.
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The same Capital, that houses the Parliament House, Lodhi Gardens, Gandhi Samadhi, FerozShah Kotla, Humayun’s Tomb and of course the prestigious Indian Institute of Technology – Delhi (IIT-Delhi).
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And of course there is Dr. Vashishth’s Clinic!
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…by the side of a road in a densely packed area (contrast this with the open greens in the above image). There was also a temple right across the road. Many people believe doctors are like Gods. Then this was a double-whammy — God and Dr.Vashishth in the same area.
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And together they began having a pronounced influence on the lives of people.
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Untill… the evil establishment of the day ravaged the area. Most buildings along both sides of the road were demolished. Only two structures stood the onslaught of bulldozers — the temple and Dr. Vashishth’s clinic! The latter backed by a court stay order.

Then one day, even the temple was demolished, with due reverence of course!

All other building uptill the yellow lines (in the image below) are gone. However, Dr. Vashishth’s clinic still stands victoriously along the road.
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Bringing to nought all the efforts being made by the evil estabishment to ease the traffic congestion in the area.
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Recently the traffic police broke the central divider on the road to let traffic manoeuvre its way across Dr.Vashishth’s projecting clinic on the road.photo_100306_001.jpg

Observe closely, there are vehicles going in the same direction on opposite sides of the road. Only Dr.Vashishth can bring things to such a pass!photo_101906_002.jpg

And here are drive-by images of the proud edifice — Dr. Vashishth’s Clinic, on Ring Road, Naraina!photo_101906_003.jpg
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* Notice how the space widens up immediately after Dr. Vashishth’s clinic.

So this was the tale of the mighty Dr.Vashishth!

And what does the evil Google throw up on this mighty man?

Seema in her FIR stated that her father O P Vashisht, mother Kamlesh and brother Naveen, had brutally beaten her, and they tried to hang her by duppatta on March 25, 2002. Seema’s father Vashisht and brother Naveen, are running a nursing home at Naraina village.

Eunuch Selling Proposition

Humour

What is it that they have, which we don’t, that makes them behave in a manner, in which we can’t?

Or is it because they don’t have some thing which we have, that makes them behave in the manner they do.

Did you say I am hitting below the belt? Don’t worry, in their case it hurts only metaphorically!

Almost all eunuchs are castrated males.

We had been made to believe that a person’s behaviour is governed by his brain, mostly located at the top of his head inside the skull. While we also knew that human bodies are samples of complex circuitry, we never knew the circuitry was so complex and cross-linked — that a person’s behaviour could be so affected by ball-tampering. And we are not talking cricket and Darryl here! (Did you notice, this was an instance of here/Hair inter-operability)

Coming back to the subjects, who are also subjects of further implants and other forms of surgical pyrotechnics…

We see them everywhere — forcibly getting into our homes to pique our happier moments; haranguing us at traffic signals; man-handling us in trains. Reminds me of the time when eunuchs would board the Indore-Delhi trains at Ujjain and pinch the facial cheeks (pardon my having to specify facial!) of my IIM Indore batch mates, calling them ‘Aye chiknay!’ or ‘Aye Shahrukh!’ Luckily, because of my beard, I had to settle for ‘Aye Prem Chopra!’ instead. Trust me this was THE situation in life where being called a Prem Chopra was much better than being a called a Shah Rukh and getting googly-woogly-wooshed by eunuchs!

Mark my words — it is just a matter of time before they start walking up and down the aisles of aircrafts asking people to pay up! After all what’s the big deal in investing a couple of thousand rupees in an airline ticket to get captive victims for a few hours, from whom they can make much more! (150 passengers x Rs 100 per person = Rs. 15,000!) And for those who complain of boredom in flights, these people will also sing and dance!

A few months ago, when this cousin of mine shifted to his new flat in Ghaziabad, many of us (kith and kin) turned up for the griha pravesh at the new flat. Things (lunch and socializing) were going on fine, till they arrived; in a Maruti van. (Their intelligence gathering is so precise — sometimes I wonder why aren’t they employed as postmen/policemen, err… post-whatever/police-whatever!) Since the doors were open they had no problems praveshing the griha! And in case you didn’t know — once inside, they are impossible to dislodge, unless you are oh-so-willing to readily part with some thousands of rupees of your hard-earned money!

Different people in the gathering tried different ways to reason out with them.

Sample some of the appeals by us and their responses:

Us: Itna paisa kahaan se laayenge hum?
Them: Wahin se jahaan se kothi ke liye paisa laaye

Us: Kothi toh loan leke banaai hai
Them: Toh loan waapas karne ke liye paise bhi toh honge

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Us: Inko (my cousin) Kashmir mein apna ghar chhod ke aana pada hai
Them: Toh insurance ke paise miley honge phir
Them: Achha aatankvadiyon be bhaga diya tumkko?
Us (seeing a glimmer of sensitivity): Haan
(one of) Them (telling the others): Hahaha. Oye suna, inko aatankvadiyon ne bhaga diya
(All of) Them: Hahaha

—————————–

Us: Inke pitaji ka pichhle saal dehaant hua thha
Them: Toh kya ab tak maatam manaaoge

—————————–

Us: Bade-boodhon ka toh lihaaz karo
Them: Wahi toh kar rahe hain (followed by a dropping of the pyjama)

Us: Kuchh akal nahin hai tumhe? Yahaan chhote bachchay baithe hain
Them: Yeh bachche <–untypable filth–>

—————————–

Us: Dekho tum yeh galat kar rahe ho
Them: Toh tu kya kar lega? (and one of them who must have been more than six-and-half-feet tall and with the build of a wrestler, made a grab for the nether regions of the person trying to reason out with them)

—————————–

Us (discussing amongst ourselves): Police
Them: Jaa bula la police ko. Hum yahin baithe hain

Why are we so tolerant of them? Because we have been told their curses (which are nothing but filthy abuses) would strike us! Not surprising, considering we are the same set of people who so readily believe that Ganesha idols occasionally start drinking milk and sea water with sewage concentration starts tasting sweet! And therefore even after all the harassment they subject us to, we implore them to ‘dua karo‘ for us.

And that is their Eunuch Selling Proposition!

'Business Card' of the eunuchs above 'Business Card' of the eunuchs above

This is the front and back of the ‘business card’ of the eunuchs mentioned above.

So, when are you calling them?

Two magazine samples: Maxim / Car

Media & Entertainment

Last week I got introduced to two magazines and in similar circumstances — I received sample copies for them. However, my reactions to both were very different. And that had to do with (a.) the nature of content and (b.) the mode of delivery — though both were delivered to my house by post/courier.

The first magazine I received was Maxim (of Khushboo picture morphing infamy) and the second was Car (which claims to be “the world’s best car magazine”).

I guess from the time I used to subscribe to Architecture+Design (A+D), a magazine brought out by Media Transasia, I would have been on their databases. Now they must have decided to send out sample copies (June 2006 issue) of one of their recent publications (Maxim) to current and old subscribers of their other magazines. Nothing wrong in it so far, right? After all, this in common marketing and sales lingo is called cross-sell.

My problem can be understood if you look at the following images.

Maxim June 2006, Cover Maxim Page 38 Maxim Page 41 Maxim Page 51 Maxim Page 56 Maxim Page 70-71 Maxim Page 72 Maxim Page 73 Maxim Page 70-71 Maxim Page 76-77 Maxim Page 79-80 Maxim Page 81 Maxim Page 82Maxim Page 83 Maxim Page 84-85 Maxim Page 92-93 Maxim Page 94 Maxim Page 95 Maxim Page 96-97 Maxim Page 97 Maximum Page 98 Maxim Page 99
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These images are from that magazine. And this was delivered at my home and received by my retired parents.

It is not that I am passing moral judgment on the content, or claiming that such literature is anathema to me. However, if at all I wish to procure and consume such literature — I wish to do so on my own volition. Just imagine if Playboy were to decide on such a promotion — and went on to airdrop a few sample copies into your living room!

Now contrast this with how I received Car. Cars, cover Sept 2006They called me up and asked me if I would be interested in receiving a free copy of their magazines. I was given a choice between their magazines Bikes and Car. And being a sucker for most things free — I did not mind receiving the copy. Though I am still trying to figure out how they got my details in the first place.